Spiritual Awakening-when does it feel better?

When we first start the journey of a spiritual awaking it feels amazing. It feels like a new awareness to the beauty and wonder in the world. Butterflies and zebras...The mind opens to new possibilities and opportunities. Life is beautiful!

We can see now that life should have meaning! We discover the notion that we create our own reality and how exciting is that? All we have to do is be positive....think positive.

For me this looked like connecting with nature....I found a new sense of connection. I observed beauty everywhere...

I revisited an old passion for music that I had been putting off...and excitedly I skipped along down this path of enlightenment while busily thinking of everything I wanted to manifest into my reality. And all of the things I wanted to become, which was intense given my extra-sensory ability to see potential time lines...And it was beautiful...

Until it wasn't.

When I awoke to all of these blessed opportunities I developed something of a hunger....if not a starvation at this point for this better life I imagined. I soon saw the desperity, the separation that seemed a great chasm between where I was and what I wanted. And it hurt.

I soon realized that despite the great potentials that lie within me and within the world, somewhere out there...the reality was that my life felt pretty meaningless. I had been caught up in some negative patterns and felt trapped in my relationships and my situation. Home began to feel like a prison more so than a sanctuary. My energy was so on the brink of depletion that at that time I needed that hope of a brighter future...because without it...I probably would have died.

To put it simply..I felt desperate. Desperate for change. Desperate to ease the pain I had been ignoring and invalidating for decades...

And I woke up.

Again...but this time to the reality of my external world.

What I awoke to was the realization that I was in control of my life. And that I had been systematically handing over that control to someone else...for pretty much ever, whether that was through a domination or manipulation or out of fear for responsibility.... That I had allowed myself to be pushed and led by others for my entire life.

I realized that I had and was being abused. I awoke to the pain that I had been ignoring from within myself and had been gnawing to get out of me and express itself for a very long time. I was miserable. I hated the way I was living my life. I despised most of the closest people in my life, knowing that they cared more about preserving their ego than caring for my heart. I was miserable, suicidal even, because I was in a bad spot. And it was the first time that I honestly felt like I was in this spot unfairly... and not because there was something wrong with me that somehow justified my abuse.

But I was alive and fully so for the first time. And it HURT.

Ouch.

When we first awaken to our external reality it can be a harsh and painful realization. We may see life as meaningless and we just need more to make it worth the trouble. And if it seems like an impossible goal or if we continue have relationships with people or things or take on the responsibilities of others then it can feel rather hopeless.

Awakening is like this...new levels, new awareness....like waves it ebbs and flows...

So what now?

This new awareness of the reality of your pain....this is the cue to that you're ready....

And in steps in the universe with what we call

The shedding process.

The shedding process is when the universe strips away anything from your life that is no longer aligned for you and your highest purpose within this world. For me the beginning of this looked like stepping away from an abusive marriage...because as painful as it was to lost such a lengthy relationship, it was necessary for my growth. It looked like giving up on the house that I called home. The neighbors. Alot of relationships....alot of things.

And it hurt.

BUT in a lot of ways...it just felt like a relief. Because it was aligned and a responsibility that was actually killing me and sucking my energy dry.

Shedding will come in cycles with the awakening process. We are often faced and placed within similar circumstances time and again that reflect the traumas, or energetic wounds we developed in our childhood and bring awareness to the mindsets and thought processed we were conditioned with from our socializing process from birth. And we will get sucked in to these same situations and manifest that reality TIME AND AGAIN until we recognize the pattern.

Recently a client asked me..."so when does this all start to feel better? When do I step into my new life, claim my highest self and really start living?"

So. When DOES it feel better?

In my experience it feels better in waves. As you come into new awareness you are better equipped to make better decisions and your vibrational energy will raise. As this happens you will automatically attract people and situations that are a match to your energy.

But also this means that it is a process. Of realization and making what has been subconsciously hindering you now conscious. Of releasing the energy from the trauma...and creating space and allowing a new and healthier mindset to replace the old system. And sometimes it just means you need to go through the cycles long enough to see it. To be able to accept it. To make a different choice and see it and deal with it a different way.

The thing that I see holding people back the very most is an unwillingness to accept what is. To accept responsibility for what they did to contribute to the continuation of that cycle. And if we refuse to see it, it will only get more extreme and seem more out of control until we do...

Or in some cases the opposite is the downfall, while in self abuse we accept all the fault and responsibility for the entirety. ..leaving the other party with no accountability for their contribution. Its a give and take and a push and pull.

But if the goal is awareness..consciousness....we have to be willing to accept EVERYTHING for what it is. Even when it hurts.

We can't heal what we deny is in existence. And the longer we try to cut it off and ignore that nagging part inside our subconscious the more we will keep spinning and wondering why things keep going back to how they were.

Rinse, wash, repeat.

Another thought on why we get stuck....

When we've been at this awakening thing for a few years...it can feel somewhat like its own very traumatic experience. And it is.. because through the process of becoming completely self aware we have to become aware of what we've been through that has brought us into our current reality...so part of it is literally bringing up and revisiting traumatic memories. And if we are simply unwilling to accept all is it is and was and how it affected us... and change what needs to change, if we are unwilling to see and reflect on the true reality...to think about it differently......if we let those cycles come and go and respond in the same way every time, if we think about it the same way every time...then we're just going to stay stuck.

Its not easy and when we know that shift, that change is coming, that realization we've been avoiding...its hard to keep at it.

Awareness.

And big hugs to all that are dealing with this right now. Its not easy.

But

To know the truth is empowering.

To accept the the truth is brave.

And when you've had something gnawing from the inside of you for years and years..to finally see it and accept it as real ...

it feels like a relief.

Relief will come in cycles too dear one. Trust in the path. Trust in the process...if you stay with it...when you have enough awareness to see it clearly...you truly can consciously create your world into whatever you want it to be.

And it will mean that much more because it was a choice you made and not just a have to to get swept up into...

Namaste Loves

Cate

The Energy Catalyst

PS does this resonate with you? Are you stuck?

Lets talk. <3

#spiritualawakening #cycles #wakingup #trauma #soulretrieval